Laat pyn, self seermaak, sny jou beter voel?

 Bastian of the University of Queensland, Australia and his colleagues recruited a group of young men and women under the guise they were part of a study of mental and physical acuity. Under this pretense, they asked them to write short essays about a time in their lives when they had ostracized someone; this memory of being unkind was intended to prime their personal sense of immoralityA—and make them feel guilty. A control group merely wrote about a routine event in their lives.

Afterward, the scientists told some of the volunteersA—both “immoral” volunteers and controlsA—to stick their hand into a bucket of ice water and keep it there as long as they could. Others did the same, only with a soothing bucket of warm water. Finally, all the volunteers rated the pain they had just experiencedA—if anyA—and they completed an emotional inventory that included feelings of guilt.

The idea was to see if immoral thinking caused the volunteers to subject themselves to more pain, and if this pain did indeed alleviate their resulting feelings of guilt. And that’s exactly what the researchers found. Those who were primed to think of their own unethical nature not only kept their hands in the ice bath longer, they also rated the experience as more painful than did controls. What’s more, experiencing pain did reduce these volunteers’ feelings of guiltA—more than the comparable but painless experience with warm water.

According to the scientists, although we think of pain as purely physical in nature, in fact we imbue the unpleasant sensation with meaning. Humans have been socialized over ages to think of pain in terms of justice. We equate it with punishment, and as the experimental results suggest, the experience has the psychological effect of rebalancing the scales of justiceA—and therefore resolving guilt.

Miskien is die werklik waardevolle vrae om te vra:

*waaraan dink ek is ek skuldig? waarvoor word ek verwyt deur ander mense?
*is ek regtig skuldig – is dit regtig my skuld – het ek doelbewus bygedra of was ek toevallig teenwoordig (bv Natalie se ma wat haar verwyt as sy onsuksesvol haar ma se drome najaag, en verder verwyt word dat haar geboorte die einde van haar ma se loopbaan was)
*moet ek anders oor my bydrae dink?
*hoe gaan dit die ander party (my ma, man, kind, vriend) help as ek myself sny, straf, seer maak of verwyt?
*wie het my so verwerp dat ek soos ‘n uitgeworpene voel? Dat ek voel ek verdien hierdie straf?
*was dit geregverdig?
*as ek skade gedoen het: kan ek op ‘n praktiese manier die benadeelde party se lewe beter maak?
*as ek nie die ander party skade aangedoen het nie waarom le die pyn voor my deur? waarom het ek dit as my verdiende loon gevat? Het ek dit maar net aanvaar of het ek daaroor gedink?
*moet hy/sy self sy pyn uitsorteer?
*wat beteken insluiting of aanvaarding vir my? Wat of wie sal my laat voel ek is ‘reg’ en ‘goed’? Gaan ek dit kry uit hierdie bron? Waarskynlik nie – maar kan ek dit vir myself gee?
*kan ek die verlede agter my sit en vorentoe kyk?

One thought on “Laat pyn, self seermaak, sny jou beter voel?

  1. 2 Responses to “Laat pyn, self seermaak, sny jou beter voel?”
    Salome
    2011/11/18 at 8:27 nm Edit # Anton, ek dink ons moet daardie spreekwoord verander na ‘spyt kom later’ – eerder as te laat – hoe dink jy?

    Kyk net watter kosbare lesse het jy geleer – juis deur foute te maak waaroor jy spyt is.

    Ek hou daarvan dat jy voel dat ‘selfaanvaarding die belangrikste is’ en dat ‘elke dag nuwe hoop bring’.

    Groete!
    Salome

    Reply anton
    2011/11/18 at 1:47 nm Edit # Spyt kom altyd te laat. So lui die spreekwood. Spyt laat my terugkyk op die verlede besaai met sentimentele herinneringe van … ‘n verbeeldingryke verbloeming van die angs, pyn en smart gepaardgaande met verlies. As kind kon ek speel-speel deur die lewe gaan … of fop ek myself. Vandag is ek spyt dat ek nie meer bereik het in my lewe nie, dat gewetenlose mense my soeke na aanvaarding misbruik het vir hulle eie gewin en dit gesien het as my swakheid. Maar nou besef ek dat selfaanvaarding die belangrikste is. Ook aanvaarding van die werklikheid dat my lewe is wat dit is en elke dag nuwe hoop en ‘n beter toekoms kan bring. Ons mag seker nie meer ons Christentradisie voorskryf nie, maar tog wil ek noem: Hy het my aanvaar en vir Hom afgesonder, ek hoef geen skuldbewussyn meer te he nie en ek het ‘n Vader wat my versorg en vertroos.

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